What to Read After FSOG: The Gemstone Collection (WTRAFSOG Book 9) Page 48

  Mat arrived like clockwork the following morning, a dozen white roses in hand. Cupping her elbow, he greeted her with a brief kiss hello. Leaning into his kiss brought the familiar scent of dry-cleaning and body wash. But the feel of his soft lips sparked a new aversion, sending a shudder over her shoulders.

  Locking eyes, they both frowned in surprise. “Are you cold?” he asked, moving into the kitchen and opening cabinet to retrieve a clear vase.

  She shook her head, somewhat shocked by her own reaction. Mat wasn’t a great kisser, but she’d always found comfort in his kisses. She’d certainly never found them repulsive, until now. Shayla frowned, saddened by the cold, queasy ache building in her throat.

  “So what the heck did you do in Greece? Did Tommy really marry that woman?”

  She nodded, her heart thudding. “Sorry, I couldn’t tell you. We need to talk.”

  He snipped the bottom of the stems. “Yes, we do,” he agreed quietly, filling the clear vase one rose at a time.

  By the sensitive tone in his voice, Shayla wondered if his mother had shown him the pictures. “Something happened over the weekend.”

  Mat snipped the last stem and plunked it into the water. He paused, a tightly puckered brow creased across his forehead when he faced her. “Are you asking me or telling me that something happened over the weekend?”

  “I met someone in Greece,” she professed warily, carefully watching his reaction through wet lashes. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to, it just…happened.”

  His shoulders dropped and he let out a huge sigh. He handed her the damp paper towel he held and she blew her nose. Mat had never seen her cry, seeming shocked by her tears. “Don’t cry. It’s okay.”

  “I know, but I hate telling you and I don’t want to hurt your feelings. It—”

  “Let’s sit down. I need to tell you a few things too.” Mat looked into her woeful face and let out another sigh of what sounded like relief. Placing his hand on her shoulder, he ushered her to the couch. “You go first and calm down. I’m not mad, Shayla. Just tell me what happened.”

  She sat beside him, perched on the edge of the couch.

  He took one of her hands in his. “I think we might need a shot of Jack Daniels.”

  She sniffled and shook her head. “I spent the weekend with Tess’s son, John. It just happened. I feel horrible and guilty, but we’re just not meant to be. I can’t marry you. We don’t want the same things in life—”

  “You’re right. We’re not meant to be.”

  His reserved reaction sent a ripple of guilt down her spine. She cringed a bit. She felt him trembling, and a clammy layer of moisture covered his hands.

  “I met someone this weekend too, in Washington.”

  A ticklish skitter traipsed through her abdomen, partly shocked and somewhat relieved. “You did? Have you seen her before or was this the first time?”

  Mat’s lips pursed and he blew out a long drawn out puff of air. “I know I can trust you, Shayla. God, you’re about the only person I can really trust. I know this is going to hurt you and I want you to know that that was never my intension.” Mat seemed to be in agony watching her cry. “I think I’m gay.”

  “What?” Her head automatically shirked back in disbelief. Shayla’s lashes fluttered repeatedly and she hopped up from the couch. “Gay? What? How long have you been gay? Are you sure?”

  “Before you get upset, let me explain.” He tugged on her fingers, encouraging her to sit. “This weekend was the first time. I experimented once in college, but it never got off the ground. I can’t tell you how horrible I’ve felt the last two days, knowing I had to come clean to you. But for the first time in my life, Shayla, I feel…right inside.”

  Her mouth opened then closed. “I think we are definitely going to need the Jack.”

  As she processed the information, reflecting on bits and pieces of their relationship, things began to make sense now. He followed her to the kitchen, retrieving two rock glasses and loading them with ice.

  Shayla poured them each a stiff drink and smiled thoughtfully. “To our non-engagement.”

  “To our non-engagement.”

  The sweet slow burn coated her throat. She couldn’t help but notice how relaxed Mat seemed, like a boulder had been lifted off his shoulders. How horrible it would be to live in denial, to feel the weight of fearing acceptance. As the thought furrowed through her mind, she saw her father’s face. She understood what it was like to hide certain aspects of your life so people couldn’t see deep inside your story.

  “God, I have so many questions.” Smiling sheepishly, she asked earnestly, “Was it wonderful? I mean, if you’ve had urges and thoughts before, was it what you expected it to be?”

  “Are you seriously asking? I don’t know if we should talk about it,” he said candidly. “The last thing I want to do is hurt your feelings.”

  “Mat, you were my friend first. I’m really asking.”

  He paused. “Imagine if you’d been having sex with a woman all these years and then you tried out a man.” Mat nodded, clinking her glass again. Appreciation shimmered in his bright blue eyes. “Not that there was anything wrong with you or our sex. You were always—”

  Shayla held up a hand. “It’s obvious to me now we had a relationship of convenience. I was able to hide from the past and you were able to hide from the present,” she acknowledged in a low voice, a bit of sadness mixing with understanding.

  “I’m sorry I haven’t been the boyfriend you needed me to be. I hope you don’t feel like our relationship was a waste of two years of your life.”

  “I don’t feel that way at all. Some things happen at a particular time for a certain reason. The weekend seemed to be perfect timing for both of us. Honestly, I just want you to be happy.”

  “Do you really like him? Tess’s son?”

  “John. Yes, he’s amazing.” Her eyes held wide and she nodded slowly. “Your mother knows.”

  “Believe me, she has no idea I’m gay.” The word gay rolled off his tongue in triumph, as if it was the biggest achievement of his life to say the word out loud. He shot a swig of whiskey, washing down the ghastly notion. “And I have no idea how I’m going to break the truth to her. Or when.”

  “Your mother knows about me, about my affair with John. There’s more I need to tell you.”

  They continued their open dialogue, each sharing vulnerabilities they’d never exposed to each other before. The wall that had been built up over the last few years by false pretenses came crumbling down, spurring a new bond of friendship. Shayla came to the understanding that their relationship had always been more about suitability than love. She’d never expected her connection with Mat to be passionate and he never pushed to know about her past.

  He apologized repeatedly for his mother’s actions regarding the private investigator. She appreciated his kind words, but knew all too well he couldn’t control his mother’s actions. However, one thing was certain: it wouldn’t be Mat’s sexuality that would cripple his mother’s campaign. It would be her own malicious cruel intentions.

  After a few hours of lengthy conversation and a cup of hot coffee, she walked Mat to the door. A simple act of saying goodbye they’d done hundreds of times changed as he held her close. Swathed in his full embrace she knew, for the first time in his life, Mat was comfortable in his own skin.

  Shayla tried calling and texting John over the next few days, but was sent straight to voice mail with no return text. She wondered if he was out walking the streets of Las Vegas barefoot or simply ignoring her. By the fourth day, she was fully annoyed and worried sick. Tommy and Tess had arrived the day before, and fortunately, Shayla was so busy dealing with entertainment producers and stalking paparazzi, that she didn’t have much time to dwell on John.

  “Don’t worry, there’s probably just no reception where he’s at,” Tracy said when she called asking for copies of pictures taken at the wedding. “When you didn’t call him for two days, he texted me saying
he was taking off for Utah.”

  “He knew I wasn’t going to be able to see Mat for at least a day or two.” She couldn’t contain the urgency or irritation in her tone. Shayla added defensively, “I ended things with Mat.”

  “There’s a little more to it than that. Yesterday was our dad’s birthday.” Tracy cleared the sentiment from her throat. “John and my dad used to do an annual ride this time of year in Moab. My guess is, he just couldn’t deal with everything going on all at once, so he took off. We all miss our dad. And don’t take this the wrong way, we love Tom and we are ridiculously happy for our mom, but the wedding was little bitter sweet. It’s the start of something new and wonderful, yet it’s also closing another door. The wedding just wreaked a little havoc on our emotions, that’s all. None of us even realized it until we got home to the house. Then JC and I left the next day. We had to fly back to school in Colorado for exams.”

  “I’m sorry,” Shayla said uneasily. “I was so happy for them I didn’t look at it from your perspective. Not to mention I couldn’t see three feet beyond your brother.”

  “John’s used to getting what he goes after. He’s usually chasing goals not a woman, but regardless, he just sets his mind to something and works hard until he gets it.” Amusement laced her tone. “He wants you! Poor guy had a melt down after we got off the plane.”

  “If you talk to him, would you mind asking him to please call me?”

  “I doubt I’ll hear from him before you. We’re heading straight from school to the cabin. But if I do, I’ll mention we talked. My mom would never forgive him if he didn’t make it to the cabin for Christmas, so don’t worry. He’ll show up.”

  “Thanks. See you in a few days,” she murmured, dizzy with anticipation and nerves.

  Chapter Twelve

  If Shayla could’ve summed up the definition of the word forever, it would’ve been her flight from LA to Colorado. She received one text from John two days before.

  Sorry I made you worry. I’ll see you at the cabin. I miss you.

  She was so irritated by the time she got his text, all she could say back was I’ll see you at the cabin. It took a whole two minutes longer before she sent another text. I miss you, too.

  By this point, her brain sizzled, fried from emotional overload and sheer exhaustion. What few hours of sleep she managed to grab over the last week were full of tossing and turning. She didn’t know if John would already be at the cabin or if she’d have to wait to see him.

  Shayla missed him immensely, beyond any words of description, yet she tried to contain her excitement. The minute possibility she wasn’t even his girlfriend nearly brought her crumbling to her knees. As the flight neared its destination, she paced through the cabin. The attendant finally encouraged her to take her seat for landing.

  Dragging herself through a sea of empty faces, she followed the stream of passengers to the luggage claim. Bags dropped into the moving luggage carousel. Shayla hitched her purse strap higher onto her shoulder and squeezed between anxious holiday travelers. She reached for her grey suitcase, yanking it by the handle.

  Someone tried to grab her suitcase. She spun around, staring into a familiar pair of broad shoulders. The warmth of John’s strong fingers slid over hers, lifting the suitcase with ease and standing it upright. His lips brushed her earlobe, “How many do you have?”

  Her pulse rampaged. “Just one.”

  Passengers bumped and wedged themselves behind her.

  She wobbled, molding herself to his front, staring up at him with dizzy surprise. She grumbled breathlessly. “I didn’t know if you would come.”

  John laid his free hand on the small of her back, guiding her away from the carousel. “Of course I was going to come.”

  They made it ten steps, before she stopped abruptly. She could feel the scarlet coloring creeping up her neck, catching the lobes of her ears on fire. She wiggled free of his hand on her back and faced him head on. Shayla’s lip twitched and her chest heaved up and down. “How am I supposed to know that, John? You didn’t even call me!”

  He reached for her, but she shirked away from his touch. His eyes tapered, accessing her frustration.

  Days of worry boiled over, and a flurry of emotions overcame her. “I got one text! One!”

  “I’m sorry. I was outta—”

  “What? Out of cell range?” Her voice climbed higher. She cut him a sharp look, daring him to argue. “I talked to Tracy. You still should’ve called!”

  His eyes shifted to the crowd taking notice of her outburst. “That’s not exactly what I was going to say.”

  She threw her hands to her hips. “Do you have a better excuse for ignoring me? Torturing me. Driving me crazy?”

  “Yes, yes I do.”

  A small rueful grin floated at the edge of his bold mouth, sending her into an outburst.

  “You think this is funny?” she gasped, repeating the words he said in Greece. Her blood boiled over clouding her thoughts. “I have the best weekend of my life and then I don’t hear from you! I didn’t know if you would be here! I don’t even know if we’re together! Why the hell—”

  “God you’re adorable when you’re mad.” He released the handle of the suitcase and stroked a loose strand of hair behind her ear, tracing it with the tip of his finger.

  Every hair on her body rose at the sweetness in his voice. John cast a slow, burning gaze over her face that dismantled her brain, rendering her speechless. The erotic scent of him drew her closer.

  “I couldn’t call you because I was busy going outta my mind.” Both his hands cradled her jaw, caressing her cheeks with the pad of his thumbs. “Because there was no way in hell I was going to tell you how much I love you over a call or text.”

  Her unrest diminished as he said the words she longed to hear. Every last morsel of space between them evaporated. “You do?”

  John nodded, nuzzling into her temple, inhaling the scent of her neck. His lips wandered over her cheeks and neck, working her into a rush of desire. “I love you, Shay.”

  “I love you too.”

  Her arms circled around his neck, pulling his lips to hers. She felt the invisible threads biding them as one, each possessing kiss, claiming them as each others.

  Cheers and applause broke out around them. She pulled away from him, but only to smile staring into his handsome face. Her eyes dashed from side to side, watching on-goers from ages ten to sixty pulled out their cell phones to take pictures of their affectionate embrace.

  Boasting crimson cheeks, they wrapped their arms around each others waists and continued toward the elevators. She stopped and tugged on his fingers so he would face her. Shayla drank in the gorgeous sight of him. Dark, bruising shadows dusted beneath his eyes, but the breathtaking gleam of emerald made her tingle from head to toe.

  A quick breath hissed from her lungs as she brought her palm to his cheek. Her fingers played across his stubble. Yearning to feel the rasp on her skin, she let her eyes drift and lashes lower with absolute slowness. “You haven’t shaved. I love it.”

  “I love you, Shay. I’m sorry I didn’t call. I almost flew to California. Hell, I probably could’ve ridden my bike there.” His avid eyes tracked the movement of her tongue as she wet her lower lip and drew it between her teeth. “I didn’t want to be a charity case, or have you choose me because I made you feel guilty. I just…I needed to know you fell as hard for me as I did you.”

  Shayla’s hands slid inside his open jacket around his waist. She slumped against his solid frame, emotionally drained and completely spent. “Don’t ever do that to me again.”

  “Oh, believe me, we are going to kiss like this every time we’re in an airport. The applause was great. It’s gonna be our thing.” His arm curled behind the small of her back. Her arms locked between them and he bent over, ravishing her neck. “Next time I’m gonna bend you over—“he growled into the scoop of her neck “—and dip you.”

  Her fists clenched the corners of his open collar and
tugged as she kissed his chin. “You know damn well what I mean. Don’t ever not call me. If you go off by yourself—”

  “I won’t be by myself, Shay. I don’t ever want to be without you again. Not for one night.”

  Without an ounce of hesitation, she agreed. “I don’t want to be without you either.”

  “So that means we’ve got some figuring to do over Christmas.”

  Shayla had never been a big fan of the holiday season, often comparing it to a root canal: a painful numbing experience that thankfully only lasted a short amount of time, yet cost a small fortune to endure. She had never enjoyed Christmas. She suffered through each one with her deranged parents, creating some of her worst childhood memories.

  Making their way up the drive, Shayla let out a sound of awe as she caught a glimpse of the cabin tucked into the tree line. Situated just over a small crest from a ski run, the log structure looked more like an intimate resort than a cabin. “Wow.”

  “Tommy said you’ve never been here.” He gave her a sideways glance and wriggled his brow. “Everyone is on the slopes, so we have the place to ourselves for a few more hours.”

  Shayla pretended to open her car door before it had come to a stop, drawing a deep sexy chuckle from John. They unloaded her things, bypassing the luxurious living area and dining room.

  A gorgeous thirty-foot tall rock fireplace passed by in a blur.

  He made a pit stop in the kitchen, grabbing a couple of waters from the fridge. John abruptly snatched her around the hips and Shayla let out a tiny squeak as her legs automatically wrapped around his hips.

  “Thirsty?” she teased sardonically.

  “These are for you, baby.” John started down the hall with two waters in one hand and her suitcase in the other.

  She clung to him like a koala bear. Her hand slipped inside the neck of his shirt indulging in the feel of his muscular back. “You’re gonna need them cause I’m taking you to bed and making love to you till we’re both delirious. Fuck, I’ve never missed anyone so desperately in all my life!”